9:45 and all was well
the little boy was far from hell.
He pranced around so free from thought
and to all others his ills were forgot.
10:30 and all was fine
the lonely boy was far from dying.
The light inside still burning brightly,
malicious intentions held only slightly.
11:15 and things got worse
death danced around like a demonic curse.
The boy lost his kindness and every friend,
along with the fear he'd held of life's end.
12am the sky ran red
the boy, now older, lay cold and dead
a knife clenched tight between his fist
with long red tracks along his wrist.
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5 comments:
Dark one, but I like it. :)
WOW!! ^^ What a come-back!! Havent heard from you for so long... Glad to finally read this piece from you, which, FYI is ridiculously good!! the whole piece is just so great, with its gradual change of shade from light to dark... I loved it !! ^^
*thumbs Up* :D
:S Geez.. it sure is dark.. But I like it! Nice to see you here again, missed your stuff. ^^
Oh my god it's destructive :D But i like the dark undertone. The timeline feels like it symbolizes life... and aging? Am I right? Either way it's terrific... especially the last stanza. Real nice rhyming going. <3
it does Bex :) VERY perceptive, the timeline starts off where it is kinda randomly, to show that life has begun, and its good, but soon he's alone, soon he's in trouble, a soon its over.. life is short.. people age quickly.. and life can get unbearable Very quick,
But it heals so much faster
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